Doubt is a healthy thing. It fosters hesitation that allows for deliberation. In other words, it stops you from acting foolishly. There are those who see cynicism as self-defeating, but when you think the worst and the best happens, then your negativity is already paying dividends. Ironic, I know.

When I encounter a bubbly bastard, I realize one of three things about them: They or naive, they are mentally ill, or they are lying to themselves and/or others.

The naive soul is either too young, too innocent, or too stupid to realize what can go wrong will go wrong. They’re like sugar to a diabetic. Their positivity increases blood pressure, grates on already raw nerves, and seriously challenges one’s impulse control. They’re cheerleaders without the pom poms, the short skirts, or the talent. Perpetually on some endorphin fueled high, they would tell you death itself is beatable if only you keep those feelings on the upswing. Like Hitler, they can’t admit failure which is why their heads are so swollen from ramming it against the wall of impossibility. One notices they aren’t the most competent or the most productive, but hey, we’re a team right?!?

The mentally ill have a skewed view of reality. Limits don’t apply to them because they are stardust fueled by moonbeams. They can be interesting conversationalists even though the narrative can tend to wander. Time travel, Deus ex machinas, and the talking acorn can reverse any failure. They can be inspiring like that raving prophet back from the desert to proclaim what was revealed in a cave. Rituals, controlled thoughts, and a diet of air and water can empower even the lowest person. Those secret forces can’t stop you once you know what they are. And don’t forget the aluminum foil up your rectum to block the signals. Damn Illuminati and their wicked wifi with nefarious intent. By the way, did you know the Virgin Mary was impregnated by a steal thing Holy Ghost?

Finally there is the perpetual liar, an individual who can easily blur into the first two types. What makes them worse is that they understand the conditions they have happened into but refuse to admit their enormity and consequences. They are invested in facades and manipulation. They hope for karma and are willing to lead others into Hell itself like some Pied Piper for reasons that seemingly benefit them. They are the manager, the supervisor, the seedy relative, the professional, even the friend. They make ripples that extend throughout rings of people distorting reality from the investment that can’t fail to the rehab that will finally work. They consume more than they create and are a Trojan Horse of I’ll opportunities. Socialism, cults, and telemarketing all fall into this category. Things may be bad, but they’ll get better. Just keep sacrificing, stop questioning, drink from this offered cup.

The optimist is not the realist and I wish they would desist. I do not need hope to drive me; I have purpose. I don’t need something to believe in; I believe in me. All this misplaced hope leads to incompetence, waste, and shattered feelings. It’s why you have apologists, fanatacism, and the pity party that followed the 2016 election. Guys, it’s ok to say ‘shut up.’ People need to wake up. FFS, the universe is driven by electrons and they are the negative charged particle! Doubt, chastise, ridicule. Make Eeyore your mascot. This is our time…or not. Ugh, I’m gonna have a beer.

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