The burka: it’s the world’s fastest growing fashion trends. Drop those Western Judeo-Christian morals, infidel, and join the Intifada. It’s all the rage!
Conceal those embarrassing bruises. Never worry about leading him on again. He’ll always look you in the eye, guaranteed. Just be prepared to be a good listener. The burka tends to muffle speech, but if you’re wearing thishe’ll know you have nothing of value to say.
Forget about the costs of salons and make-up, evil civil liberties. Just roll out of bed and slide in. Wanting to feel truly authentic and earthy? Don’t even shower. He’ll be sure to prefer you dressed, promise.
Patterns and designs? Nonsense. Black is the best and only color you need. Blend in. Personality and individuality only leads to problems. In fact, just let yourself go. The formless yet flowing burka leaves everyone guessing if that’s your paunch or a nasty surprise underneath.
In twenty years we’ll all be wearing them, Allahu Akbar! Get in now before the beheadings begin. Everyone knows blood is so hard to get out.