If I may ask, what is all the fuss about this choco fellow? Dear God, it’s the first rendering of Jesus without a loincloth! Sure, you can see his Messianic wang, but seriously. Sometimes Christians are too uptight on sexual matters. I can’t help but wonder if they are overcompensating for former sexual abuse or to conceal perverted proclivities. What is so bad about the above sculpture? I mean really.

If you haven’t heard by now, there was an uproar started by the Catholic League over an artist’s chocolate rendering of the Christ being crucified. The main point of contention was the fact that his snickers and milkduds are on display. It’s rather laughable since nudity has been a part of Christian art for centuries. Take a look at the statue “David”, a piece sculptured to represent the former king of biblical lore. Then there is the roof of the Sistine Chapel with a grand mural comprised of a full frontal shot of Adam (go to my “contact” section to catch a glimpse of some divine nakedness). To look at the painting, Adam must have been cold. I could go on and on.

So, there is great outrage over the fact that Jesus is on display in this “wicked” pose for all to see. I found the sculpture quite amusing. For once, we could actually eat the flesh of Christ and not view ourselves as cannibals. I always found that part of the sacrament a tad weird. Jesus telling people to, “Eat me.” Wait, that comes off even worse. Anyway…

In a way, one could see this as a statement on the nature of Easter. To some, the holiday is in rememberance of Christ dying and being resurrected. From death life springs anew, Easter actually being the pagan celebration of the start of Spring after Earth’s death from Winter…but anyway. Sorry, the scholastic sem-atheist in me. Then there is the modern generation of kids who only know Easter for the bunny and his choco treats. Is this the artist’s way of creating a hybrid of the dual nature of Easter? Has Christ become the world’s largest choco bunny?

Anyway, I’m veering off of the subject. All I can say is, if Christians hate nudity so much and are so fearful of their “fleshly weakness” then castrate yourselves, accept science since invitro fertilization would free you from all that “nasty sex”, and adopt the burqas of the Heathen Muslims since they likewise believe that seeing a bare woman is enough to cause one to turn into a raving sex maniac.

In truth, most Christians believe that man is unable to control himself. Where does this line of thinking come from? I do realize that the very teachings of Christianity encourage a mindless style of thought. Do as you’re told, think the way the bible tells you to, act in accordance with ecclesiastical authority. Christian complaints scream of a fear of thought and free will. But why should man think? Man’s mind is base and fleshly. Give a man too much time to think and he shall only come up with his own demise. Man can’t be trusted. Idle hands are the Devil’s workshop. We’re all inherently evil. What does that say about the One who created us? Likewise, doesn’t that seem a very negative outlook to have of one’s fellow man? All this faith in a divine will and the possibility of perfection undermined by the belief that we are unworthy of it. That is such a disparate, divergent way of thinking; so masochistic and degrading, accepting of suffering because humanity does not deserve better. Through pain, tribulation, we find pleasure, Paradise.

Sometimes I look at Christian thought and can only shake my head.

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